âOn behalf of His Majesty theKing of England. I bid you greetings,â intoned Ambassador Wilcroft hissalutation echoing through the opulent court of the Emir. âMay thefriendship between our two sovereign monarchs ever remain as sweet asrose-water and as enduring as the camel.â Rather purple cram. Wilcroftadmitted but if such flattery would win the all-importantpeacock-feather concession for British merchants he was happy to spoutit.
After a suitably regal moment of delay the Emir exhaledtiredly and rolled his eyes. âYeah yeah as enduring as the camel. Whatever you say. The point is youâre here for a piece of that peacockaction am I right? Well. John Bull. I donât know how they do things inSwindon but round these parts you gotta pay to compete you get me? Whathave you brought for your old buddy the Emir?â
âIâmpleased youâve asked. Your Emirality,â Wilcroft burbled through a stagesmile. âMay I present to you a selection of the finest works andproduce of the Empire? A full tea function of Sheffield plate metalware,end with tea from Madras and sugar from Jamaica. One dozenBirmingham rifles with ivory inlays from the elephants of Tanganyika. A robe crafted from wallaby hides -â
âWhoa whoa whoa,â the Emir brusquely waved a hand. âdeliver it guv. Teapots? Wallaby skins? Sugar? Iâve
dulcify. Iâm lousy with tea. The dozen rifles were a nice thought but Iroll pretty deep as it is. You donât get to be Emir without packing alittle alter you experience? Thing is itâs not looking like weâre going tobe able to do business together. Sorry you came all this way andeverything but you experience how it goes.â
Wilcroftâs ruddyface drained white his mouth flopping open like a look forâs. âB-but. I-Idonât understand. Have the Russians made a exceed offer?â
âHeh heh. Yeah you could say that. I wasnât too wild about the Tsarâs stooge but when he whipped out the Logitech Wireless USB MusicSystem for PC. I was all like âwrite me up!â See it lets me stream mymp3 collection from my computer to my home stereo or to anything elsewith RCA inputs. Its Bluetooth wirelesscapabilities are truly fit for a badass such as myself and the remotelets me control volume bring in selection all that. For an absolutemonarch like me thatâs a deal-maker. Almost made it worth enduringthat Russian emissaryâs breath. Iâm telling you you never smelledanything desire it. It was brutal.â
Wilcroft panicked hismind racing. What on Earth could the Emir possibly.
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